First Illness

I know I should be more devastated than I am, but I have been relishing Joah's first illness. It came on quickly and appears to be dissipating in similar fashion. I am taking advantage of the extra baby-in-arms time, feeling the full weight (now 17.8 pounds) of his curled up, relaxed body on my chest. Gosh, is it just the most wonderful thing. It is freeing to have no semblance of schedule. Freeing also, somehow, to be tied to the bed with a baby. Yesterday he was on my lap in such a way that I could still knit with him sleeping, and that really is all I want out of a day. Dan even got to hold the snuggler while we were at the doctor for a well-timed visit (and the day before when he suspiciously fell asleep at the hair salon; we should have known!), and that made me glad because Dan often expresses his jealousy of all my sleepy baby time.

It is now the day after I wrote the first paragraph. Sick, sleepy baby sure isn't sleepy at night. What a conundrum. At least today is coffee day. Also, could there be a stickier substance than Baby Tylenol? Trick question - the only answer is no. I am happy to see him happier during the day, though. That first smile from your lethargic kid or the first rattle he again shows interest in feels like such an accomplishment. I had already adjusted to the new nap-filled normal. At least today is playdate day (it always coincides with coffee day under the parent category of leave-the-house day), so I won't have to fully readjust until tomorrow.


Here is how he spends his fevered moments. He's a sweaty baby anyway, but that 100+ degrees of body heat and suddenly we're doing Bikram nursing.


And another picture to cling into the blackmail album. I told him that every time he misbehaves during a diaper change I'm taking a picture of it.

Half a Year Has Gone By

And I just can't believe it.

Tonight, with Daddy at a birthday party and me congested with the start of a cold, Joash decided to take a break from the putting-to-bed to have a most redemptive cuddle. He doesn't yet often like to rest his head anywhere, but tonight he rested on my chest and let me rub his back and arms while we watched a little TV, and, though somehow half a year has already disappeared, everything slowed down long enough to ensure that that is what I will remember about today.


Meanwhile, we've had two of our standing playdates with Joonsoo. This time I remembered to bring the camera.


He wants to be a plane, not a pilot.


I think he's hilarious.


Moving pictures.

A Good Day

I am always a little hesitant to share some of the good things here because I have been that discouraged mom reading about everyone's sleeping, perfect babies while mine was still eating for hours on end, skipping naps and carrying on. I know what the Baby Whisperer expects of me, and, while struggling with it for the first month, I always fell short. Before Joah was born, I was sure I'd do dream feeds and scheduled wake ups, but he never fit into any of that and, honestly, neither did I. How do you wake your kid up from a nap at noon when he ate right up until 11:30? I wasn't willing not to feed him on command, and leaving a brand new person alone on a bed for most of the day made my heart sick. Living in Korea and having to make many of the elements of my daily food intake changed my eating philosophy. Meeting the baby and having to care for a little human changed my parenting philosophy. So we snuggled while he ate for 9 hours at a time, and we took morning skinship naps together, and I brought him into the bed by the second or third (or fourth or fifth) time he woke up at night. (And even now, I bring him into the bed for his 5 o'clock feed.)

I usually save the successful sleeping news for my mom or my husband or for the baby book. But I don't want to just share the complaints because this kid is pretty awesome, and he is perfectly mine. I find that the best days with him are the days I stop fighting with him and trust his instincts. Yesterday was the loveliest day, and he hesitantly took two naps, each for barely 45 minutes. He sat and watched Dan play a new video game. He sat and chewed on my yarn. A wakeful baby makes noisy kitchen chores easier to do, and we had a great pauper's meal of tuna melts, french fries, and chocolate pudding while we are waiting for Dan to get paid this month. Joash was awake for most of it. And when he gets grumpy, we try to figure it out. And there is always that voice in the back of my head saying, "You know he should take a nap. Sleepless days beget sleepless nights, blah, blah, blah."

But that voice is wrong, and so I spend a lot of time ignoring it. Last night after a somewhat restless day was his best night of sleep yet. What now, internet! I am a better mother when I don't look at the clock.

It's funny I should write this today on his most napless of days. It's 4 in the afternoon, and he's had one 20 minute nap, which means that, though it feels so on many days, today I actually have spent more time putting him to sleep than he's spent sleeping. Parenting is nothing if not ironic.

Winter Lounging

There's a kid on my lap. He may or may not be crazy. He keeps trying to wiggle his way down onto my clothed boob until he gets distracted and flings his arms toward things like my cup, the Xbox remote, a blanket, a spray bottle, the internet cord. When you're prepared for the wiggling, it's cute.


Here's some of that wiggling. Look out for the surprise ending.


And here he is keeping up with his social media. The tweet he highlights is about North Korean workers in Kaesong, pretty high brow for someone whose favorite toy vacillates between discarded wrapping paper and a jar full of ranch.

Weekend 96 of 52+

Lotte World for Lunar New Year

Lunar New Year provided Dan with what, I think, will be his last vacation from his current job. Then we'll be back in America for 6 weeks, and then we'll be back in Korea for a couple more years. I guess I haven't mentioned that here, but everyone already knows anyhow. We'll be south of the city for that, though, so we'll no longer be weekending in Seoul.

We spent the vacation Tuesday making our last visit to Lotte World with our free passes.

Our baby is being his insane, little self, which is normal (for him) and cute, but it is distracting for blog writing, so I am just going to caption the pictures.